If I were a tree mental illness would be layered in each of my rings. It’s not something topical that can be fixed, nor should it. If you take it away I wouldn’t be me.
It’s been over a year since I’ve published a new mental health blog post. During this time my mental health diagnosis has changed.
I am autistic.
Trees embrace change, so I can too
I’ve realized a lot about myself since receiving my autism diagnosis. My life has changed substantially. I’m healthier and significantly happier because I know how to treat myself.
Most importantly, I’ve learned that I’m not bad at being a person. I’m not broken. I’m autistic.
The typical way of thinking and interacting isn’t the norm for me. Sure, the differences present their own unique struggles. But more importantly the differences are what make me who I am.
What I need
I hope the news of my autism diagnosis helps the people around me. I hope you can be more consciousness and understanding of my needs. I want you to understand that your typical way of thinking and interacting isn’t the norm for me. My mind doesn’t work like yours. And that’s okay.
I deserve consideration and patience from the people around me. I hope you can respect and appreciate my unique differences.
I want you to know that you matter. Even when life seems confusing and all over the place — you are not broken. You are worthy.
If you are reading this — thank you so very much, from the bottom of my heart. I truly appreciate you. I want you to keep living, and keep reading. You matter to me.
The realization that I have autism didn’t come over night. It took years of appointments with my family practice doctor, the support of my friends, tons of therapy appointments, and a bunch of self-growth.
Moving forward I want to share more with you. I want to get back to blogging. I want to continue writing about my mind and mental health. I want to share about my struggles; depression, autistic burnout, overstimulation, autistic meltdowns, and the absolute exhaustion that comes from masking. I want to tell you about all the things I see differently; hugging, soft touching, fabric textures, sounds, social interactions, sarcasm, and so much more… I want to talk about it. Because it’s me, and I’m enough.
“I’m not bad at being a person. I’m not broken. I’m autistic.”
I am glad you got this more accurate diagnosis, Elizabeth. It probably clarifies a lot for you, considering the symptoms you have been dealing with all this time. I have a grandson who was diagnosed about 8 or 9 years old. He is now 23. He had Turret’s syndrome from age 4–what remains of that is barely noticeable and he is taking medication for that as well as for anxiety. He is one of the joys of our lives. His preoccupation with whatever interests him keeps him going, including computer-related things and alarm systems. He wired his parents’ house with 26 alarms, and when my son opened the garage door, sirens from police and fire trucks went off as they pulled up to the house. After high school, he took some college classes but was unable to focus on subjects he wasn’t interested in. He had a job at Whole Foods (this is in Princeton, NJ) and would take every schedule when someone called in sick. He wasn’t driving at the time, didn’t until he was around 20. He became friends with about 5 guys around the US through a system of communication he set up and, through one of them (a high school student), he got an application for a job in Philadelphia working for an alarm company. He is in heaven and making lots of money at the same time. My grandson’s autism is part of him and part of his unique personality that we love.
It’s so good to see you back! You look beautiful! Congrats on your new journey of learning about your autism. Wishing you the best! 🌺
Glad you are writing again. The name of the game for everyone is be happy and take good care of yourself. You are the only person you have to please❤️
It’s great to have you back.
Having answers is a powerful thing.
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